Too Far Too Close

When I was ten years old, I watched The Little Mermaid, a beautiful elegant woman who changes her whole life and persona for the other, forever. I was enchanted by the romantic images of the animation and this is how I remember my first encounter with the world as a woman.
I spent my youth in romantic relationships where I had always been far from myself despite its free, independent, and equal appearance. I became close to my partner’s atmosphere, and it was a unilateral happening. I became far from my favorite cinema, music, and friends because of the fear of rejection by the other and for being loved by him. My progress was suspended, and I was joining in my partner’s growth to be a more appropriate companion. My goal was marriage and taking part in a life which was to be made by my partner under my supports. Being lonely seemed disappointing.
Now when I look back at my romantic experiences, I can see that they look like the animation of my childhood, which formed the hidden parts of my life. It is not a unique experience and can be easily traced to women’s society. It is where the vague teachings of independence and equality, along with dominant patterns of patriarchal and religion, have defined and redefined women’s life and their femininity. Eventually, women are who hide many parts of their lives, and emotions such as fear, guilt, and moral guilt are so close to them.
In the present project, I have sought questions regarding femininity, and distance, and denial of sexism in a society that may be called a semi-modern, semi-traditional and semi-religious one.

Ongoing...